Birthdays

Okay, so I didn't post ON my birthday, give me a break, I've been busy. BUT I thought I would post SOMETHING about birthday because I was not particularly looking forward to this one, and I'm really not that old. 

A little know fact about me:

I

Am

A

*Major*

Birthday

Brat.

 

           And not just in the sense that I like to throw my children elaborate birthday parties, but that I also expect my birthday party to be just as elaborate (I know, bratty right?). I just love birthdays so much!! They're a celebration of that person and that day is a day to let them know that they are loved! 

So pretty much from the dawn of my first birthday I have not so subtly hinted (starting in about August) that my birthday is coming and that YOU should ALL be PREPARED to MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!!! 

But for some reason this year was different. In fact, I was dreading the coming of the "Big day".  I will admit I have been lying about my age since I was about 19.  Not because I wanted to be younger, but because that's when I got married.  I didn't want people to judge me for being married so young. Then just after my 20th birthday my son came.  Then I really didn't want people to know just how young I was.  So I lied. I told everyone I was 25. That's right, 25.  Seems like a good age to be with a kid, and then two kids... But this year I turned 26. A year older than the age I lied about for so long.  So that makes me.... really... old. 

Maybe not as old as my father who will be doubling my age in November :)

However, I will have you all know that my husband and sister did an amazing job at easing me into my new found year.  

Mr. R made me laugh until I cried by getting me one of these: 

And my sister let me share the day with her beautiful one-year-old daughter. (She even got me roses, ROSES!! HOW NICE IS THAT?!?!) 

In reality 26, is not old at all, despite the new found wrinkles, and going to school with teenagers, I am 26 and fabulous. :) 

Service

One good way to feel good about yourself is to get off your derriere and do something for someone else. Not the regular make dinner, do dishes, vacuum rooms, stuff that mom's always get to do. That can  sometimes feel like slave work not service (even though it is...). 

This week I my neighbor had her baby! YAY!! A little bit too early, he wasn't quite done cooking. So between trips back and forth to the hospital we were able to provide a bit of service for her cute family!

Tonight I am hosting a "Girls Night In" where we will be doing our nails and eating tasty treats! What a great service it is to get together with friends and have conversations with adults!

I also found this WONDERFUL blog The Dating Divas and have remembered how important it is to serve the people we love the most! I have plans to make THIS for my sweet husband and it makes me feel really good just thinking about all of the things I love about him. 

There are all sorts of things we can do for other people! I'm sure you've heard that sometimes people put others people down to make them feel better about themselves, but what about doing the opposite!? Do something AMAZING and NICE for someone else to make you feel better about YOURSELF. Doing a bit of service is good for the soul. 

GO AND SERVE!!! :)

Complements

This week has been a crazy week. Between Dave’s work, my work (the last of my “two weeks notice”), worrying about where those DARN library books went, what is for dinner in this insanely hot and humid weather (HUMID?!?! I thought I lived in a desert!?!), getting pulled over, and finding money to get the car registered so we won’t get pulled over again. 

BUT

I haven’t COMPLETELY fallen off the face of the planet. 

After coming home from an AMAZING bridal shower for my soon-to-be sister-in-law my cousins car broke down in my driveway (really it started smoking and we found some coolant and then it was better) my neighbor from across the street came over and asked me if I have lost weight (which I haven’t). BUT IT FELT SO GOOD. 

BACK IN THE DAY…

Someone said to me something that STUCK.  "You should never keep a complement to yourself." Even if it’s for a person you’ve never met. Complements were meant to be given.  You never know how good you will make someone feel.  If a pregnant women looks like a glowing soon-to-be mother of awesomeness, then TELL HER.  If you’re child is doing an EXCELLENT JOB AT ANYTHING, let him or her KNOW.  Good food, cute shoes, nice haircut, lost weight, clean house, beautiful yard, even the smallest complement can mean the world to someone.  Life is hard enough, let’s help each other out and make each other feel good!

Honesty DOES NOT equal Truth.

Honesty: free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere : I haven't been totally honest with you.

• morally correct or virtuous : I did the only right and honest thing.

• [ attrib. ] fairly earned, esp. through hard work : struggling to make an honest living.

• (of an action) blameless or well intentioned even if unsuccessful or misguided : he'd made an honest mistake.

• [ attrib. ] simple, unpretentious, and unsophisticated : good honest food with no gimmicks.

Truth: the quality or state of being true : he had to accept the truth of her accusation.

• (also the truth) that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality : tell me the truth | she found out the truth about him.

• a fact or belief that is accepted as true : the emergence of scientific truths | the fundamental truths about mankind.

Just because you are being HONEST to someone about something it does not mean it is the TRUTH.  Someone once said to me that I am an inconsistent mother and that I am horrible at communicating.  She was “just being honest". 

When a wife asks her husband “Do I look fat in these jeans?” it is a loaded question. Only because he isn’t sure if she wants the truth or his honesty.  He may think she looks like a billion dollars in those jeans; they show off her curves and accentuate those sexy thighs (she refers to them as “hams”).  BUT HE LIKES THE CURVES, SHE DOESN’T.  He may honestly be telling her she looks fabulous. But truthfully, those jeans are too small and she should change.

The first day of Mr. Crane’s sociology class my senior year, we defined truth as a class. My teacher pointed out that EVERYONE comes from a different background; we have different lenses through which we view the world.  SO to make sure we were all on the same page we came up with a class wide definition. 

Spinach tooth

Truth is not only “fact or reality” (You have some spinach in your teeth. Would be an example of reality.  Utah’s state flower is the Sego-Lilly. Would be a fact.)  Truth is also accurate and without change.  

Sego-Lilly

So as a reader of my blog I want YOU to understand what MY DEFINITION OF TRUTH is. 

Truth |troōθ|: NOUN. A fact and/or reality that is accurate and without change.

When I say that I believe without a doubt that the Gospel is TRUE, I mean that I know it to be a fact that is accurate, it does not change. 

http://www.mormonchurch.com/11/book-of-mormon

NOW Let’s talk about HONESTY.  Believe it or not, but I think our DEAR FRIEND Wikipedia does a FABULOUS job defining honesty:  “[honesty] refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft.^”

Being honest in a conversation with someone does not mean it is the TRUTH. Someone may HONESTLY see inconsistencies in my parenting, and HONESTLY think I am bad at communicating, but in TRUTH, that is opinion. 

Opinion: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. 

As a daughter of God it is important to be able to distinguish between honesty, truth and opinion.  It can be EXHAUSTING to constantly be trying to PLEASE EVERYONE.  When truth is defined, it is easier to see who we should REALLY being pleasing.  

Nothing Clever.

Nothing clever or inspiring to say today. So I am posting this talk, because it makes me feel good every time I read it.

LDS Women Are Incredible

I Am Borg.

I quit my job. Well, I gave them my two weeks notice.  I thought I would have this feeling of complete elated liberation. But it was really hard.  When I told my boss I had some bad news for him, his fight or flight instinct started to kick in, and then a look of panic spread across his face as I explained to him what my situation was. This would be the second time I’ve had to quit a job I love, for the good of the collective. Sometimes being a mom can feel like being  Borg; not even a hot and sexy Seven-of-nine Borg, an ugly part-of-the-collective Borg Drone. 

Hot and sexy, not part of the collective Seven-of-Nine.

It seems that every decision that is made as a mother is weighted by how it effects everyone else in the family.  The question "What should I do today?" will greatly determine the outcome of EVERYONE ELSE'S DAY.  Should I go grocery shopping or watch tv? Clean house or paint my nails? Take a long luxurious bath or a short shower and do a quick load of laundry? When making decisions strictly based on my stress level we generally have no food and piles of dirty clothes.  If it weren't for SLAVERY SATURDAY we would be living in filth...*

Me. Borg Drone.

Even deciding to take a day off of being cheerful will effect the mood of the house. Here's some math to prove my point: 

Grumpy + Mom = Grumpy household

 However, putting the kids to bed is an awful lot like being the Borg queen, “Resistance is futile” and she is a somewhat sexy Borg… but only after her head has attached to her body, the floating head thing is a bit creeping if you ask me. 

Borg Queen. 

*well maybe not, Mr. R is really good at stepping in when I need a bath, pedicure, and some "me" time.  

Quote of the Day

"I find that we as women need to be empowered for the women we are and not the women who we "think" we need to "see" ourselves as."
--Jessica

Talent

A couple of weeks ago in Relief Society we wrote down all of our personal talents. This was an interesting and somewhat revealing exercise.  I had no trouble at all thinking of things that I am good at. My list consisted of things like crafting, cooking, teaching, music, art, etc.  In fact I was impressed at how easily I thought of things I am talented at.  ~shoulder brush~

Unfortunately because I was coming up with ideas so quickly I was also running out of them.  The teacher did a wonderful job of putting on spiritual music for us to listen to as we thought of things to write.  Despite this, thoughts of things I can’t do well and have never been good at started to creep into my head mothering, self control, cleaning, paying bills, reading scriptures, etc., etc., etc.  Even more easily than coming up with my talents was coming up with things I hate about myself.  While this isn’t a good thing, at least I was able to steer clear of the bad ideas and look through my accomplishments with a sense of hope.

God hasgiven us all talents. Some people believe we are born with “raw” or “natural” talent.  I’ve always been pretty good with academics. Grades are something I’ve never really had to work HARD at.  Of course there is “that one class” that consumes all my energy and causes more stress than I think I can handle, but I always seem to manage an A or B. 

Others believe you have to work for the things you want to be good at.  I was never an amazing dancer, but I wanted to be. So I worked my rear off to make the elite team and still only made alternate (but a girl quit, long story short, I was in). I brought a video camera to class to learn and study the dances and steps that came so easily to others.   

I believe we have a bit of both natural and raw talent.  Academics, cooking, crafting, etc. come easy to me.  Dancing, patience, gardening are all skills that I’ve had to work at. They are things I still have to work hard at. 

If you can’t think of ONE thing you are good at, then ask someone else, and BELIEVE what he or she says.  From the inside out, it can be difficult to figure out who you are and what your talents are.  But from the outside looking in, (good friends and family) can be a HUGE help.  People who love and care for you can often see you from an honest/reliable perspective.   If you’re a terrible singer, they’ll let you down nicely, but they’ll let you know. If you’re good at listening they’ll let you know.

They’re not always right.

            But if you have literally NOTHING good to say about yourself, they can be a good start.  

To wrap up, I'm going to get preachy. So if you don't want to be preached at stop reading HERE. 

God LOVES each and everyone of us. We have faults. We have sinned. Some big sins, some little sins. He has given us the gift of the atonement so that we can repent of those sins.  We need to go out and share our talents with others and in turn, help others to find their talents.  God WANTS us to be happy.